The power of words

Try this sometime: squeeze a whole tube of toothpaste onto a plate. Now try to put it all back in. Impossible, right? Words are like that. Once they're out, you can't take them back.

Online, it's even more true. A message can be screenshotted, forwarded and saved forever. "Delete for everyone" doesn't delete it from anyone's memory. The Bible has a lot to say about the small muscle you use most often, your tongue, and these days that includes your thumbs.

What you'll learn

• Why Proverbs says words carry the power of life and death
• What James' pictures of the tongue teach about words
• How a changed heart leads to changed words, online and offline

Life and death

Proverbs says words are never neutral:

"Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21)

Words can bring death: crushing someone's confidence, spreading a rumour, making someone feel they don't belong. Words can bring life: encouraging someone, telling the truth kindly, standing up for someone.

"Speaking rashly is like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (Proverbs 12:18)

Careless words cut. Wise words heal. Both are powerful. And Proverbs even has something to say about one of the oldest excuses around:

"Like a madman shooting firebrands and deadly arrows, so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’" (Proverbs 26:18–19)

Someone hurts a person and then says it was just a joke. That excuse is about 3,000 years old! Typing "jk" doesn't undo the damage.

Small but powerful

James, the brother of Jesus, wrote a letter to the early church with a whole section on the tongue (James 3:1–12). He uses a string of vivid pictures:

• A bit in a horse's mouth and a ship's rudder: something small steers something big. Your words can set the direction of your life.
• A small spark and a forest fire: one comment can spread and do damage far beyond what you meant.
• Wild animals that can be tamed: people have tamed all kinds of creatures, but no one can fully tame the tongue.
• A spring and a fig tree: what comes out shows what's inside.

At the centre of the passage, James says:

"With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be!" (James 3:9–10)

Every person you talk about, in person or in a group chat, is made in God's likeness. That changes how we should speak about anyone behind their back.

But James also says no one can tame the tongue. If that's true, is there any hope for our words?

Where words come from

Jesus explained where words really come from:

"The good man brings good things out of the good treasure of his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil treasure of his heart. For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)

So the deepest fix isn't just "try harder". It's a new heart. Jesus never used his words to destroy. Even while people mocked him on the cross, he prayed for them to be forgiven. Christians believe he forgives the words we regret, and by his Spirit he changes our hearts so that our words change too. That kind of change takes time, but it's real.

Words online

Paul gives a great filter for every word:

"Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

You could turn that verse into a "before you send" checklist:

1. Is it true?
2. Does it build up, or tear down?
3. Does it help the person who will read it?
4. Would I say it to their face?
5. Would I be okay with it being screenshotted?

Try running some real situations through it: a "rate my outfit" post full of brutal scores, an edited photo of a classmate getting lots of laughing reactions, or a friend asking, "Don't you agree?" after complaining about someone else. Why do you think it's easier to be cruel online than face to face?

Key words

• Tongue: in the Bible, a picture for everything we say (and today, type).
• Rash: done quickly, without thinking.
• Likeness: being made in God's image; every person reflects God in some way.
• Unwholesome: harmful or rotten.

How this points to Jesus

James says no human can tame the tongue. Only one person ever spoke without a single wrong word: Jesus. His words healed, forgave and gave life, even from the cross. He doesn't just give us a better checklist. He offers new hearts, so that our words can start to sound more like his.

Think about it

Take it further

This week, send or say one genuinely encouraging message to someone: a friend, a family member or a teacher. If you're being hurt by words online, please talk to a parent, teacher or another adult you trust (in Australia, eSafety can also help remove harmful content). Your worksheet helps you build your own "before you send" checklist.

If you'd like to, you could pray:

God, forgive me for words that have hurt people, spoken or typed. Change my heart, so that what comes out of my mouth and my phone brings life. Amen.